Funny Posters

BYU Devotional

First off, I want to say that I have no intention of setting a course or direction for my blog. I write whatever is on my mind, so one topic may be completely different than the other. There are other times where I do want to share my thoughts or views. Whether you want to read or comment on this is entirely up to you. I'm writing this only for the sake of my freedom of expression. But please comment if you do have something to say.

About a year ago I had the oppurtunity to go to my bishop's cabin/mansion. It was ridiculously awesome. While there, Nick Martineau, a freshman from the BYU basketball team was going to give a devotional that night. I guess he's related to the bishop somehow. Anyways I was psyched.

Being someone who was about to serve a mission, he talked about seven things we can do to prepare for a mission. I can really relate to this now as I have less than two years in order to prepare for a mission. It's hard to believe that I'm this old now. Seriously. In the next five years I, along with others my age, am going to be making choices that will affect the rest of my life. It's crazy. Anyways, I can't remember everything he said but I wanted to write down the ones I remembered.

-Talking about spiritual things-This one was pretty important to me. When I'm on my mission, I'm going to be talking about the gospel for two years straight. So it logically makes sense that I'm going to have to get use to this kind of thing before going on a mission.

-Talking with different kinds of people-This is also something that is very logical. On my mission, I'll have to get used to talking to new kinds of people every day. Right now I usually hang out with the same people everyday. Talking to new people is just something that I got to learn to do.

-Treasuring up moments-To be specific, spiritual moments. While talking to investigators, it will help to have personal experiences that you can share with them. It also helps build your testimony

-Get in shape-From what I heard, missions take a lot more physical strength than I would expect. When you think about it though, it does make sense. Those guys are walking (or biking) day in and day out. It's a huge adjustment when you've been going to school and sitting for ninety percent of the time.

-Learn to do household stuff/develop your talents-So that just basically learning how to cook (so you don't die) and iron. That's pretty obvious. Developing your talents would also be a good idea. I mean you don't know when the opportunity is going to arise in order to give you a chance to share the gospel. He told us he was actually taking piano lessons so he could play some of the hymns.

Well anyways, it was a great devotional. I wished I would have remembered more because he really did have a lot of good points and it really got me thinking. And also, sorry if it seemed like I spilled my guts. I wrote a lot more than I was acutally intending to.

Crap

I'm writing this post because I do not know what else to write. If your not intrested in reading a pointless post, please stop reading right now...leave...go home...oh you're already home? okay fine leave your computer...you're still there? Alright then, if you're still reading I can see you're an a very adventurous person, or you're just bored.

So over the past year I've written about 30-40 posts (I don't really care to count). And sometimes I ask myself why am I doing this? I usually don't have very much to say anyways. What's the point of having a blog if you don't have anything to say? It has become more of an obligation that I must obey and have done so for about a year and it is driving me insane. So I have stopped writting for about a month or so and it's been great. No obligation, and no insanity. What a great way to live! Well now that I've gotten that off my chest, so long. Maybe I'll write again this week. Maybe in a year. Who knows.

P.S. Go Cougs

Good Old Reader's digest

I was browsing the internet one day, and I decided to look up the reader's digest. There, I found a link titled "Our 50 funniest stories" Well I looked at it and as it turns out, the stories were actually really funny. I decided to post a few of my favorite ones. If you want to see the rest click here.

Watching a movie recently, I couldn't hear the dialogue over the chatter of the two women in front of me. Unable to bear it any longer, I tapped one of them on the shoulder. "Excuse me," I said. "I can't hear."
"I should hope not," she answered. "This is a private conversation."
 
My husband decided to install a light switch in our master bedroom. Cutting into the wall, he discovered a stash of bottles and boxes.
"Honey!" he called excitedly. "Come see what I found!"
I ran in and quickly realized that his next task would be to fix the hole he had made in the back of our medicine cabinet.
 
A friend and I were hitchhiking, but no one would stop. "Maybe it's our long hair," I joked. With that, my friend scrawled on a piece of cardboard: "Going to the barber's." Within seconds we had our ride.


Although desperate for work, I passed on a job that I'd found on an employment website. It was for a wastewater plant operator. Among the job requirements: "Must be able to swim."

Random Facts

In the past week, I've found a lot of random facts and pick-up lines. I decided to write a post on some of them. Enjoy!

The longest book title is 1,433 characters, or 290 words, and was written by Italy's Davide Ciliberti in July 2007. Click here to see it

In the United States, 2000 people receive major injuries a year from prying apart frozen food. Not even joking.

Police dogs are trained to react to commands in a foreign language; commonly German but more recently Hugarian.

Your odds of being killed by space debris are approximately 1 in 5 billion. Be careful. It's a dangerous world out there.

The town of Kennesaw, Georgia has required its citizens to own firearm and ammunition since 1982. Stay away!

I asked Chacha for some pick up lines: the first one I got said, "A dance tonight, an eternity tommorrow." They then said that pick-up lines are meant to be romantic, not funny.

Well, I wasn't really looking for any serious pick-up lines so I asked specifically for a funny one. They said this, "Don't be so picky...I wasn't! Good Luck Casanova!" Harsh, but funny.

And this is one of my favorites: Can I have your picture? (Why?) So I can show Santa what I want for Christmas!

By the way you guys, I don't see the resemblance between me and the monkey. I'll stare at it for 5 minutes if you want me to. Maybe if I squint...uh no. I think you need your eyes checked. I suggest you see an eye doctor...IMMEDIATELY!

Random, Pointless Post

And here's my random post of the month: my dedication to one of my favorite animals, greater and more powerful than all others except for the cougar.

Tagged A-Z

A - ATTACHED OR SINGLE: Single and looking (jk not really)
B - BEST FRIEND: BFF's are overrated. It's just me and my pals
C - CAKE OR PIE: Pie (strawberry pie preferred)
D - DAY OF CHOICE: Friday
E - ESSENTIAL ITEM: Wallet/money. It's a good thing to have.
F - FAVORITE COLOR: Blue. dark or light
G - GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT: This is more of a blessing than an accomplishment but surviving a skull fracture when I was 2. Everything else I've done is because of that.
H - HOMETOWN: Farmington, Utah
I - INDULGENCES: Tennis, Snowboarding, BYU Cougars, music, Seinfeld and the Office
J - JANUARY OR JULY: January (I'd take the cold over the heat any day)
K - KIDS: zero
L - LIFE IS INCOMPLETE WITHOUT: BYU and good food
M - MARRIAGE DATE: none
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 3 younger bro's. (Nick, 14; Josh, 10; Zach, 4) I'm basically the king at my house
O - ORANGES OR APPLES: Apples
P - PHOBIAS OR FEARS: If I was to get attacked in the dark or if i got my finger cut off
Q - QUOTES: Best one on the top of my head "That was totally wicked!" I can't really think of another one right now
R - REASON TO SMILE: Idiotic people
S - SEASON: Fall
T - TAG SOME FRIENDS: anyone who hasn't and wants to
U - UNKNOWN FACT ABOUT ME: I wish I was black
V - VERY FAVORITE STORE: I'm not much of a shopper so I don't really care. DI, I guess.
W - WORST HABIT: LOSING MY STUFF! I can't emphasize that any more. It can truly be a nightmare sometimes
X - WENDY'S OR MCDONALD'S(sorry, not much goes with x's): Carl's Jr. could beat them both combined
Y - YOUR FAVORITE FOOD: Chinese, 6 dollar burgers, banana splits, and smoothies
Z - ZODIAC: Scorpio

Yep. There you have it. So since I'm excited for BYU football, I need to put a little blue in a post before the season. Here's some pretty cool facts about BYU and some of the players. By the way I got these from this site.

BYU has won 70% of its games since 1972. Based on a 13-game schedule, that's a solid 9 wins per season.

BYU Football has produced 4 of the 10 largest ESPN audiences in the program's history. I've heard this stat before, but it's still amazing.

Travis Bright benched 540 freaking pounds.

Di Luigi rushed for 2,159 yards as a senior in high school. His high school mascot was the Cougar.

Ray Feinga had over 70 knock-down blocks last season. Come for breakfast, because he makes pancakes.

For a white guy, Kellen Fowler has wheels. He runs a 4.47 second 40.

Spencer Hafoka averaged 24.6 yards per reception his senior season of high school. If you ain't haulin' in a long bomb, it ain't worth catchin'.

Justin Sorensen kicked a 62-yarder in high school. His once killed a man with his big toe.

Why I like Michael Phelps

So I was just browsing the web on what I could say about America's favorite Olympian. Obviously I could have said that he's considered one of the greatest athletes of all time. But that would've been a very short post and wouldn't serve this amazing swimmer justice. Then I read this. It's a post about Michael Phelps on someone's blog I found. I couldn't have said it better myself. So I am basically dedicating my post to this guy's post and pretty much his entire blog. I am seriously considering putting this random guy's blog on my blog list. Just from what I read, (Olympics, and everything else is BYU) it looks like a awesome blog. Anyways, I just wanted to dedicate a post to Michael Phelps and the random guy's blog. There you have it.

Crazy Life at the House

So first of all, after thinking about my lifeguarding rant, I decided that I could start a another whole lifeguarding rant. I was looking through the comments and I thought of a ton of other things I could say. I almost could have written a book with all the ideas that were poping up in my head. But I decided not to. Summer's almost over. Why complain? Just another two weeks and lifeguarding will be over.

So anyway, there has been a lot of crazy things going on at my house. These are just a couple.

So this is a picture of what used to be my pool. It is now a tangled ball. I wasn't there when the wind blew it over but it must been exciting to watch that thing blow over.

I don't know if you can tell what this is. If you didn't know, that is the bumper to the entire back of my dad's Toyota Camry. I wasn't there for this either but I guess he wasn't looking when he backed up his car and hit our broken down junk car which doesn't matter anyways. The saddest part is that with only one car to use, I have to ride my bike to work for the rest of summer. I'm not going to lie. Life's rough.

Lifeguarding Rant

As most of you know, I lifeguard. And as a lifeguard I see that some people totally get the wrong idea about us. If I even think to blow my whistle at someone once, I am hated, called a jerk, and told that I am a mean ol' lifeguard that isn't letting anyone have any fun. So I decided to post this so you guys know not to make the same mistake as these clueless idiots.

First of all, the thing that you must know is that the uttermost goal of a lifeguard is to get as least chair time as possible. While on the chair, we constantly watch swimmers and to make things worse, we're not allowed to talk to anyone while on the chair, except for, of course, patrons of the pool that break a rule. As you can see, sitting on the chair is boring. I would rather be on break changing the garbage than sitting on the chair. I'm not saying that sitting on the chair is torture. I'm just saying that I would prefer other things.

Now, there are indeed some things that can eliminate chair time. If there are less people in the pool, we can lower the number of guards on chairs from 3 to 2 or from 2 to 1 or even from 1 to 0. Now there aren't a lot of things that we can do about the number of people swimming. But there are a couple of things. First of all, if there is lightning, the pool closes. Keeping a watchful eye on lightning is something that we do all the time. Now if someone continually breaks the rules, we are allowed to kick them out. Yes, that can be a pretty harsh thing. But if you want to break the rules, that's your fault. Kicking people out of the pool adds excitement to our day. It's fun. It lowers the number of people in the pool. We don't want to kick you out, but if you want to mess with us, you will get kicked out.

So that's just a little perspective for you. Now about whistling at people. First of all, I find it annoying that some people think that getting the whistle blown at them means that we are mad. No, that is not true. In fact, we don't even like to blow the whistles ourself. It's all about safety and eliminating any risk of an accident so that we don't have to worry about saving you or worse, send someone to the hospital. Not only that but if our manager saw somebody breaking the rules and we neglected to whistle at them, we would get in trouble.

So that ends my long rant. Just remember next time you're at a pool: don't be annoying, don't break the rules, and if you're getting sick of swimming feel free to leave. Don't make us watch you if you don't want to swim. Thank you very much. Have a nice day.

Stop Sign

This is a little video clip that I thought was pretty hilarious. If you don't think so, then it's your fault for being in a bad mood, because trust me. It's hilarious.

Stop Sign Video

A New Problem Creates a New Blog

Hi it's me, Sean. It's been a long time since I've last posted and I have exceeded a month-long hibernation. Well, this time, Pointless Effort is going to have a never-ending hibernation because for some reason it won't let me log in. After trying to log in 10 times I give up. I no longer have the will to continue fighting this stupid computer. So goodbye Pointless Effort. I hope you're happy spending the rest of your life in the cold, living all alone as you eat up dust until you suffocate to death.

Well now I got that over with. Welcome to my new blog.